TATOOED, OVERWEIGHT CRIMINALS – YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU!

Are you a reformed criminal? Do you have tattoos? Overweight? If so, your country needs you! (They want you. They want you. They want you as a new recruit! – to quote the words of the Village People song!) The British army are currently so desperate for new recruits, they are prepared to relax the rules and allow overweight, tattooed criminals to join the ranks, in a bid to boost flagging numbers of new applicants. Apparently they will only take ex offenders who show that they are prepared to turn over a new leaf and get back on the straight and narrow! Plumper soldiers may soon be the norm too, although an army spokesperson says the idea is that they will burn off any excess weight during training and become fitter. Rules which currently ban the recruitment of soldiers with visible tattoos are also set to be relaxed.

One of the main reasons for the drastic drop in numbers of army recruits is that many solders have left the army because they are disillusioned with the government’s treatment and attitude towards them. Critics argue that this is the root cause and main problem that needs to be addressed. The government needs to take a long hard look at the very difficult and dangerous job our soldiers have, particularly those serving on the front line. Investing in their future and welfare would be a good start and maybe then we wouldn’t have a recruitment crisis.